It goes without saying...

Dear Fat Girl,

I see you Fat Girl in the mirror as you get ready to get in the shower this morning, assessing your body. Squeezing that fat roll, wishing it away. Sucking in your stomach in hopes of feeling a little better about yourself. Scrutinizing every curve with disdain because the media tells us that fat isn't all that and that if you have any on your body, you should be ashamed of it.

I see you Fat Girl, on the scale. Wishing that the number you were seeing wasn't true. Wondering how you got to that number even though you know a life time of celebrations and living life led to it.

I see you Fat Girl squeezing yourself into your size 22 pants because you are too embarrassed to go buy a size 24. Because by buying that bigger size, you are proving everyone right. That yes, you are fat and no, you aren't doing anything to fix it. So instead of buying new pants, you pull a 3XL shirt over your bulges and hope nobody sees that you just popped the button off of your pants.

I see you Fat Girl as you get ready to grab your breakfast and fix your lunch for the day before heading off to work. I watch as you measure food and log calories because your friend swore that this diet will help you lose weight fast. This is a different diet than the 20 you tried before, so surely it must work! I also see you grab your gym clothes because starting today you are going to start working out.

I see you Fat Girl at the gym after work. All eyes stare you down as you walk to the equipment, unsure what to do. Every good looking, fit person in the building watching you, waiting to see you embarrass yourself or fail. I see you get on the treadmill and walk a little while, because there is no way you can run. I see you watching the Zumba class. It looks like so much fun, but because you are fat, there is no way you can fit in with all the skinny girls that are taking the class. I see you avoiding the weights and bypassing other classes on your way to the locker room. I see you in the changing room, getting ready to go home when you overhear a few of the ladies in the room laughing at you because you "waddle" and they aren't sure why you are even coming to the gym since you are so fat. I see you hold back the tears as you quietly slip out of the changing room before they notice you and hear you vow you won't return.

I see you Fat Girl as you pull up to McDonald's and order a Large #1 and scarf it down before you even make it home. I see you walk in and eat dinner with your significant other, unknown to him that you have just eaten a full meal only a few minutes before.

I see you Fat Girl as you keep the hurt inside. I see you bottle it up and try very hard not to let it show. Instead of dealing with it, you just make fun of yourself. You make jokes about your weight before anyone else has an opportunity to do it for you. You joke about how you will only run if you are chasing an ice cream truck. You joke about being a blimp because you are certainly full of hot air. You take all the hurtful things you have been told and you turn it because for some reason if you say it, it takes a bit of the sting out of it. But I also see you once you get home and how you cry and cry because it hurts so bad inside.

I see you Fat Girl with your friends and in social situations where you feel very self conscious. You worry about what you look like. You worry about if it seems you are eating too much. I see you letting little things bother you to the point that your entire night is miserable. But because you are used to this, you plaster on a smile and keep on going. Nobody can know the hurt inside.

I see you Fat Girl sitting down and talking with another fat friend who shares your sympathies. I see you opening up to that person and finally letting it all out. I also see your friend finally let it go. Who knew someone else felt exactly the same way you do?

I see you Fat Girl getting up and exercising every day. And although you feel like making excuses why you can't, your friend is depending on you so you push through. I see you calling and checking in to keep each other motivated. I see you making future plans and then I see you accomplish them!

I see you Fat Girl, not quite so fat anymore from the exercise and lack of junk food that you have been slowly weaning out of your diet. I see your 22's fitting better, too loose even and you can wear a 2XL shirt comfortably again.

I see you Fat Girl, finally feeling comfortable with how you are starting to look and beginning to be more bold with your outfit choices. I see you change up your hair and makeup just for fun. I see you really becoming happy. For the first time in a long time, you don't cry at night and you feel good about yourself.

I see you Fat Girl, take a picture of yourself and post it to social media because this pic is perfect. Great lighting and your make up and hair are on point. For the first time in a long time, you feel pretty and others compliment you because they can see how far you have come. But I also see someone who is making fun of it. And while you used to get upset over something like this, you see it for what it really is...absolutely NOTHING!

I see you for who you are Fat Girl, and you are an amazing person, full of life, love, and energy to be spent on people who matter. People who are positive and want to see you be successful. I see you accomplishing everything that you set your mind to in ways nobody else thought was possible. I see you taking on the world one step at a time. I see you stumble over and over again, only to get back up and keep trudging along. I see you for the first time, not as Fat Girl, but as YOU!

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE SMART! YOU ARE TALENTED! YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER THIS WORLD!

There will ALWAYS be people who want to see you fail, but it is up to you to prove them all wrong. Don't let anyone else steal your sparkle. Nobody does YOU quite the way you do. So keep on keeping on and let the haters fall away. At the end of the day, the only people you should be concerned with are those who love you anyway.

I see you Fat Girl, but now you see YOU too!

Always behind the glass,

Reflection