21 Day Fix: Day 2

This morning I woke up with sore legs, a sore butt, and just a general overall soreness. It is the feeling you get after you know you have busted your butt doing a good workout. Needless to say, I knew that today's workout was going to be harder than I figured simply because of the soreness.

I woke up late and before I realized it, I had not eaten all day. I got up and moving around 4 and took myself to the local Japanese restaurant where I ordered myself a dynamite roll. It met part of my meal for the day, but I know it was a no-no to simply not eat all day. I wasn't sure what the measurement was, but I knew that I had not met my daily quota, so I'm calling it a draw.

I completed the Day 2 workout which was called The Upper Fix. It worked on the upper body and much to my dismay still caused me to use my legs, which are still super sore. After the workout I finally had more mobility. I'm thinking the more I workout the better I'll feel. I've got to get these legs out of the sore phase and ASAP.

After the workout, I helped myself to another chocolate and peanut butter protein shake and am finally getting to relax. Hoping tomorrow's workout goes as smooth.

Until later,
Jana

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21 Day Fix: Day 1

Well, it has been a while since I last logged in and made a post. As usual, life happened and a lot of things got in the way. My relationship of 9 years ended and it has been an endless journey of trying to cope and move my life forward. I mention all this because it was (and still is) an important part of me. As I am moving forward, I am excited about some of the more positive changes coming. Some of which include a new job and a new town. I have accepted a new job teaching 6th grade Social Studies and I am very excited! I'll be moving closer to my family as well. But anyway, all of this will be reserved for another post. Onto the 21 Day Fix.

Monday on June 8, 2015 I began my 21 day journey to a healthier me. As I haven't really worked out much since returning from Disney in February, it is high time I get my butt into gear. I have signed up for the Disney Half Marathon in January of 2016 and its time to get prepared to start training. I'm excited because B is running the full marathon, but I'll leave that to her to tell you all about! :)

The premise of the program is you eat food that fit into these color coded boxes for 21 days and follow the workout plan and it is supposed to help you lose weight, tone up, etc. Each box represents a certain food and based on your weight determines how many times you get to fill each box.  If you know me, I am always up for trying something different, and given that I have had several friends recommend this program, I figured why not. You can read more about the actual program here.

Prior to starting, I read through the nutrition book and got to really know each of the containers. I took sharpie to mine and labeled them, but some people prefer to make real labels. I simply wrote the number of times I am allowed to fill each box a day and wrote the type of food that could go inside of it. So for example, I wrote the number 6 on the green box and labeled it Veggies. That means I can fill that box up to 6 times a day with veggies. I then checked out the shakeology cup that came with my set and looked through the videos that came with the kit. I actually sat down and watched the first DVD so I would know what to expect. Upon watching the videos I noticed that they did advertise for shakeology a lot. Shakeology is the nutritional meal supplement that is supposed to help with recovery after a workout, however it is a little more pricey than I could afford. I simply found a protein powder that was similar and more in my price range by looking online and reading a few nutritionists blogs. 

I also know that taking your measurements and pictures for starting was important. I typically would go ahead and post my before pictures and measurements, but I think I want to wait until I'm done with my first 21 days. I really want to see what kind of difference there is. And I'm a little embarrassed if I'm completely honest with myself. 

For my first day, I started out the best way I knew how. I made a pre-workout shake (chocolate protein powder, 8oz water, half a banana, and ice) and waited for it to kick in before launching into my very first workout which was the full body fix. Needless to say, it lived up to it's name. Less than an hour after finishing, my glutes and quads were KILLING me! I know it is because those muscles haven't been pushed that hard since February. I know now that I really need to get my butt in gear so that's not an issue. After the workout finished, I once again fueled up with a recovery shake (chocolate protein powder, 8oz water, 2 tsp peanut butter, and ice) and took a hot shower to help soothe the soreness. 

According to the plan, each of the shakes constituted a red container, the peanut butter constituted 2 teaspoons, and the half a banana was considered a purple container. For lunch I enjoyed a salad with chicken tenders on top with some avocado lime ranch (4 green containers, an orange, and a red) Dinner was a red container of pan seared chicken, 2 green containers of broccoli, and a blue container of cheese. Believe it or not, I still had plenty of options left to eat. It felt good to know that I'm making good choices for myself and I can still have other things to eat should I feel hungry. I really think this program is going to be a good one. I can't wait to hit Day 21. 

I'll be making daily posts or posting every other day in hopes that anyone else interested can do this as well. If you have any suggestions, please drop them in the comments and I look forward to updating soon!

Always,

Jana

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Watch me Go...



For those of you who don't know, I've been battling severe allergies since the beginning of October. Between sneezing, coughing, and feeling bad I have been struggling to get my runs in. That on top of a full plate at work and you get why I've been terrible at posting. I'm still a little under the weather, but I'm done letting that stop me from reaching my goal of completing my first half marathon. I've been getting in about a run or two a week, but they are pretty slow and I've only run about 30 minutes at a time.

Today was the first day I've felt really good in a while, and minus some coughing, I had no other issues. I warmed up around 3:45pm and took off on my first distance run in a while. 5 miles is a lot of mileage as the most I've ever run at one time was my 10K almost a year and a half ago. I expected a really bad time, but I was surprised to see that I'm not as far behind as I thought.

I finished my run and was flagged down by one of the guys who does training for a local gym. He often brings his classes to the track to run and use the equipment. (I am always cheering encouragement at them as I see them go through circuits and they are always cheering on the runners out at the track.) I waved at him and stopped by to see what he wanted. He told me that he had noticed my running form was MUCH better and he wanted to let me know that he could really tell a difference. I smiled and told him I was concerned because my time had slowed down as my form began to change. Apparently that is normal and as long as I keep running, I should be fine. The fact that he stopped me to tell me I was improving really  made me happy. It made me realize that you never know who is watching you. It makes me want to push myself even harder to ensure that I reach my goals in time for my big race. (And I told him about getting ready for the half and he gave me some really good advice on nutrition goals and pacing. :) For free...which is the best thing.)

It's hard to believe that we are only 111 days away from race day! It seems to be passing so quickly! I can remember when we were at 250 days...now we are almost down to double digit days! It will REALLY hit me when we get to single digit days! B and I are so ready and pretty much text non-stop these days about what all we are going to do! I can't wait to get there!

 

Enjoy your evening,

Jana

 

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Five Months

  (Except a Half Marathon)

This picture reminds me so much of Jana and myself. I don't know who would be who though, we probably are always alternating between the blind optimism of Buzz and the pure terror of Woody.

Today is officially 5 months till race day. That is just so close, I can't believe it. 5 months to whip ourselves into tip top shape. 5 months to run farther than ever before. I have never gone more than 4 miles in my running career, and I can't imagine running 13.1. But then again, I could have never imagined being able to run a 5k either, and now I have run several. So I'm sure in a few months, I will be able to check half marathon off my bucket list.

Sometimes I am overcome with fear about this race. Fear that I will get swept by the balloon ladies, fear that I won't be able to finish, and fear that I will never be that runner that I really want to be. But I know all this fear will just make the accomplishment so much sweeter.

For the most part, I believe in myself, and I believe in us. I just know we are going to have the best RACE-CATION ever. I can't wait till September 30th, so we can start the official training. And I can't wait to continue to countdown the months, weeks, and days till race day.

I just know this event will be epic for the both of us.

Brittany

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Just Beachin'

I just got back from a much needed vacation to the beach. I am finishing unpacking my bags (which involves dumping out handful of sands), and I'm already missing the sun, sand, and waves. I could of used a couple of more days to get a little more tan and a little more relaxed. Don't vacations always end too soon? I am already missing my nieces terribly!

It really was a great vacation. The first night I got there I was having tons of anxiety about food. Food post weight loss surgery is so much more complicated than food pre weight loss surgery. The problem was I was staying in a condo with 8 other people, and that kitchen was stacked to the brim with snacks. Snacks I would have loved before my surgery!  Like Banana Split Oreos! Where were banana split Oreos when I still weighed in the 300s?  Or the banana taffy sonic slushie with nerds? I would have lost my mind over those a few months ago.

I'm  pretty much at a point with my surgery, that I can have a bite of almost anything, and I will try things because otherwise I would lose my mind. But for the most part I have a routine with food, that I find comforting. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle all the temptation.

I did pretty well. I do think I snacked more than I would in a regular week, but I didn't eat the unhealthy stuff. But I did have bite of the Oreo, and it was crazy good!

I stayed pretty active, I went for a 3 mile run one evening in the gym, while people stared at me from the pool. I was less embarrassed that I was sweating like a pig in front of a pool of teenagers, than I was that I was watching the Real Housewives while doing it! I swam non-stop, and I am participating in a crunches challenge for the month of August.

When  I got home, I was scared to step on the scale, I don't know why. It is just that being out of my routine scares me, I was BLOWN away to discover that I lost 8 lbs this week. BLOWN AWAY. So proud and so happy. I weigh in the 230s now, I am so close to ONEDERLAND.

Also, while we we were on vacation, Adam and I went parasailing. Parasailing has been on my bucket list for a while. Years and years ago, when I would go on beach trips with the church youth group, they would take people out to go parasailing. I would always act like I didn't want to go, but really I wouldn't go because there was a combined weight limit, and I doubted there was anyone I could pair with that wouldn't make us heavier than the weight limit. So I didn't even try. Just one more way my weight has held me back over the years.

But now that I've lost some weight, I could ride with my husband. So we went parasailing not once but twice last week. What an amazing experience! Not only was it fun and beautiful, it was just so amazing to be able to do something that my weight used to keep me from doing. 

Losing weight lets you have adventures. 

Tomorrow it is back to the grind, and we are moving into our new house on Friday! I'm hoping to get a run in tomorrow before work, so I can finish up some packing in the afternoon.   This weekend is going to be hectic and full of unpacking boxes and cleaning. I'm hoping to run a 4 miler over the weekend!

Catch you later,

Brittany

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J and B's Runiversary

July 29, 2014 was mine and B's 2 year runiversary. It seems so surreal looking back over that amount of time and how far we have come. I didn't even realize it until August 1 and of course I had to send her a message to let her know we had missed it. She and I both agreed that it would make for a good blog post, so here we are. :)

I know we post a lot about our running and how far we've come. I just want to say, I'm so proud of B! She had a 14 minute mile the other day! And not just 1, but 3 of them! When we started this journey I know I could barely do a 20 minute mile. The fact that we are up to 14 minute miles speaks volumes about our journey and we are hoping to only get faster the longer we practice.

Instead of writing all about our journey, I want to share a few pictures instead. Please bear with me as this will be a photo heavy post. :)

 These were taken after we finished our very FIRST 5K in September of 2012. We finished in under an hour and we were the last two to finish, but we finished! So blessed I had this girl in my corner. 

 Fun times at our very first foam race! As you can see, we enjoyed the face painting. :)

 Of course I had to throw in a few college throw back pictures. :) As you can see, we had a lot of fun. 

 When Brit and I started our running journeys, we inspired several others to join us for the Color Run in Jackson, MS. As you can see, it was a blast!

 Our very 1st 10K in Auburn, AL (War Damn Eagle!)

Random pics from Days Gone By!

I'm so looking forward to many more adventures with this girl and I can't wait until we get to post all about our experience at the Disney Princess Half Marathon! :D

Until Later,

Jana

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Update

I know it's been over a week since my last post. I have been so busy I haven't even had time to stop and think, let alone post a blog. So allow me to take this time to update and catch you up on what's been happening here in the good ole 'Sip'.

This last week has been spent cleaning and getting ready for the beginning of school to start back. I spent Thursday and Friday in my classroom getting it set up and even though I'm far from done, it is starting to take shape.

 

When Brit received her injury, I made a decision that I would take off too so that we would be on the same playing field. I hate working out and updating her on progress without her being able to do the same. So instead of running this week I used that time to clean out my guest room and FINALLY go through all the boxes that I just threw into the guest room when I moved back last October. Going through them I was able to purge a TON of stuff that I'm not even sure why came with me in the first place. I still have the closet to finish, but that will get done this week after I complete my early morning runs. 

I'm getting excited because in 2 days I get to register for my race. I realized I have a school meeting scheduled at 10am that morning and I have to register at 11am, so I informed my team that I would be excusing myself long enough to get that done. I've read that the race typically sells out in the first 2 hours so I REALLY wanted to make sure that I get registered. I would hate not to get registered and miss out on something I have been looking forward to for months. 

Today I have plans to clean my house top to bottom, complete all the laundry, and get it ready for back to school. Once school starts I won't have a lot of extra time to deep clean it, so I am utilizing the last 2 weeks I have of summer vacation to get it done. We shall see how it all works out.

I hope everyone has a great week and I am looking forward to checking in Tuesday after I register! I can't wait!

Talk to you soon,

Jana

Single Digit Days...

We are down to 9 days until we can register for our Disney race! 9 DAYS!!!!!! Single digit days?!?!?!?!?!?! How can it be? It seems like it has been forever since March and now we are mere days away from signing on up!

In roughly 230 days I will be one of the princesses running through the castle doors in the Magic Kingdom with one of my very best friends in the whole world! Who gets to do that? I'm so blessed for the opportunity and I cannot wait until I get to do it and document the journey. Who knows? Once we accomplish this we might even be brave and try to sign up for the Disney Marathon in 2016. What do you think B?

It seems so strange that July 29 of this year will be the 2 year anniversary since Brittany and I started running. Now don't get me wrong, we stopped and started and stopped and started again, but we have only gotten better the longer we have gone. This is the longest that I have been consistent and to be honest, I don't see myself stopping, even after we finish our half. Although, I may take a week long break to give my body time to recoup. I plan to go ahead and sign up for a new race so that I keep on training. 

I just had to share my excitement! Looking forward to getting all signed up and registered. Once I do that, the race is real and I don't have an opportunity to back out. :) 

Have a wonderful Sunday,

Jana

No More Excuses

It is hard to believe that 2 weeks from today I will be sitting in front of my computer constantly refreshing the runDisney webpage so that I can register for my very first Disney Princess Half Marathon. To say I am excited is an understatement. To say that I've been obsessing over this moment since March when Brittany and I decided to take it on, would be the honest truth. I honestly can't believe it is within reach. 

I'm finding it hard to believe that it is only 7 months until the race. Given that today is July 1st, I decided that I really need to buckle down on the training wagon and get my diet under control. I know in order to be at my best I need to eat as clean as possible. I also need to make sure I'm training regularly. So here are my July Goals for success:

Run a Minimum of 3 days a week

Cross Train 2-3 days a week

Log on myfitnesspal daily (janak2004 is my handle)

Meatless Mondays

Dairyless Tuesdays

Breadless Wednesdays

Sweetless Thursdays

No Fried Food Fridays

Water ONLY Weekdays (with exception of Gatorade for runs)

Today was Day 1 of my redo 5 mile week. I finished in 1:17, which is under the Disney requirement. I know I want to get my speed up, but right now I'm focusing on my distance and I will work on speed as I go. My goal is eventually get up to the 13 mile mark and complete it in under 3:30. If I can do that on my own, I can then work on picking up my speed. My goal before the race is a 3hr race, but if it takes me the whole time I won't be disappointed. 

I hit a wall around mile 3 today and tried to justify stopping and just calling it a day. I thought of EVERY reason possible, but then yelled at myself for being so stupid. If I can't handle 5 miles, how on earth do I expect to handle 13.1? After giving myself a brief, but stern talking to, I realized that I was almost done with mile 4 and I should just shut up and keep going. At mile 4.3 my feet started to kill me. Again, I could see the car right up the road and I knew I could just go on there and not worry about the last 7 tenths, but the voice of reasoning kicked in and I pushed through. When I finished I was hot, sweaty, and my feet hurt, but I was so happy that I had made it all the way through. Sometimes I can be my worst enemy. I know I need to get out of my head and just do it. 

I got to thinking about all the excuses I make as a runner about why I can't do it and what others have told me in the past about why they refuse to run. I have created this list of excuses and facts for your reading entertainment.

1. Excuse- Running is too hard on your body.

    Fact- Running IS hard on your body, but the more you do it the less difficult it is.

2. Excuse- Running hurts too bad.

    Fact- Again, YES, it does hurt, but not in a bad way. It hurts in a "I am kicking butt" sort of way.

3. Excuse- You get all hot and sweaty.

    Fact- I do get all hot and sweaty, but the most rewarding part of my entire workout is pulling off my sweaty clothes after a good workout and taking a nice, hot, relaxing shower. There is no other feeling that can compare to that. And FYI, that sweat is toxins leaving your body. The more you sweat, the better. 

4. Excuse- I don't have time.

    Fact- You have to make time. A one hour run is only 4% of your day. In the time it took you to read this blog post, you could have already started a good workout. Get out there and do it. 

5. Excuse- I'm too tired.

    Fact- A good run will actually make you less tired. You will be amazed at the boost of energy you get. A runner's high is the best thing ever. 

6. Excuse- I'm too self conscious. People will talk about me if I get out there.

    Fact- You would be amazed at how wrong you are. I have more people that give me a thumbs up and a kind word than anything when I go run. Nobody is focusing on you. Nobody is thinking what you think they are. Believe it or not, you might just be inspiring them. Keep going! Don't stop!

I'm sure there are a lot more excuses. Feel free to add them in the comments with your facts. I'd love to see what other pitfalls people have. 

Start the month of July off right! Get out there and Run! No more excuses! You can do it! :)

Talk to you soon,

Jana

The Countdown is On...

The countdown to Disney is slowly ticking away! It's hard to believe that when I started my timer that we had well over 340 days! I like to randomly check and when I saw we were less than 250 days away I sent Brit a copy of the timer. Her response was "Holy Moly!" I know exactly how she feels because it seems so surreal to be getting closer by the day. We will be registering for our race on July 15th! It's so close! 

I finished my week of 4 milers on Saturday morning and it was HOT! My fastest 4 miles I did for the week was 58 minutes. My longest was 1hr 2 mins. I'm not going to complain because I'm still under the time limit for Disney and I know that over time my speed will improve. And before I move on, I must say how proud I am of Brittany for running her first full 5K on Saturday! That is such an amazing accomplishment! :) She has inspired me to try and run a full 5K as well. 

Today starts my 5 mile runs and since the weather has decided not to cooperate, I'm going to be using my Mom's treadmill. Even though I hate the treadmill, at least I will get my workout in without too much hassle. Plus, they were cutting the grass at the track I've been running at since I've been home and the pollen is RIDICULOUS! Hopefully this rain will help bring it down a little so I'll be able to run outside tomorrow! :) 

I've been home visiting my family the last few days as our "home" church is preparing for VBS starting tonight and I had a few Pampered Chef shows scheduled. Given that I'm out for summer break, both of these give me an excuse to stay busy and make extra trips home to visit. I love PC because I get to cook and teach while earning some extra income. If you've never heard of Pampered Chef, you can check out my website here. VBS is fun too because I get to be in charge of games with all the kids. There is nothing more fun than working with little kids and seeing their eyes light up. Our theme this year is Weird Animals. I can't wait for the kids to come into the church and see what we have in store for them! 

It's hard to believe that everything is moving so fast. It feels like just yesterday I started my summer break and in two more weeks I'll be setting up my classroom and gearing up for a new school year, my half marathon, and getting everything squared away for Disney! I feel so blessed and can't wait to see what happens! 

Have a Marvelous Monday,

Jana

Why I Run...PT 2

Brittany posted a really good post a couple of weeks ago about why she runs and it really got me to thinking about why I run. The truth of the matter is, what started out as two friends deciding to do their very first 5K turned into more than I could ever imagine. It helped me build confidence. It helped me feel better about myself. It got me to be active for the first time in a long time. But most importantly, it took me out of my comfort zone and gave me an outlet to work out stress and frustrations. 

Since I have started running, I can tell a HUGE difference. These two pictures are prime examples of the differences between then and now.

July 2012

Weight: 302

April 2014

   Weight: 265

When I started this journey, I was very secretive about my weight. I didn't want anyone to know that I had hit the 300lb mark. I was embarrassed and ashamed. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my come to Jesus meeting occurred on my very first flight out to California when I couldn't get the seat belt to buckle. That in and of itself was the beginning to my realizing I had a major problem. 

After Brittany and I started training with C25K, which is a great program for those wanting to start running, I found that even though I always joked about never being a runner, that yes...I could be. I had confidence for the first time ever. Clothes fit better. I was watching the scale move down, although slowly. And the inches came off. For me, the weight loss has been slow, but it has also been permanent. As the saying goes, "I didn't LOSE the weight...I got rid of it. I have no intention of ever finding it again."

I guess my reasons for running have far surpassed their humble beginnings. They have gone from a challenge to something I actually crave. I WANT to be healthy. I WANT to get out there and run. I WANT to see my body change. But most importantly, I WANT TO DO THIS FOR ME! When I can't control anything else, I can control when and where I run. I can control how much I run and I can ultimately control my health over the long haul. I only get one body and I hope that by my 30's I'm in better shape than I have ever been.

If you are thinking about becoming a runner, please remember a few things:

1. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to do a mile, the fact is that you are out there doing it.

2. Don't get discouraged that people are passing you. The only person you need to be in competition with is yourself. 

3. If anyone makes fun of you, don't stop! Everyone has to start somewhere. Some of us are just further in the race than others. 

4. Be proud of the body you have. If you aren't happy with it, only YOU can change it. 

5. Your head will give out long before your body will. Keep pushing or you can't grow. 

6. Sign up for a race before you start. It will give you something to work for. 

7. Have fun! Nothing better than getting out there with just you and the pavement. Forget your troubles and just run. 

For those of you looking for other reasons to run, this is for you. Enjoy!

Happy Running,

Jana

J's Running Bucket List

30 Races to do before 30!

Most people have a "bucket list" of things they want to accomplish before they die. I have a 30 races that I want to accomplish before my 30th birthday bucket list. Please take note and if you have any other suggestions on more I can add, please put them in the comments section. :)

1, Complete an Obstacle Run

2. Complete a Mud Run

3. Complete a Color Run

4. Complete a Glow Run

5. Complete a Zombie Run

6. Complete a Beer Run

7. Complete a Foam Run

8. Complete the Disney Princess Half Marathon

9. Complete a 10K

10. Complete a "Girls Only" Run

11. Complete a Hot Chocolate 5k

12. Complete a Turkey Trot

13. Complete a Jingle Bell Run

14. Complete a Dirty Girl Run

15. Complete the 5K Foam Fest

16. Complete the Spartan Sprint

17. Complete Living Socials 5K Dance Party

18. Complete a Super Hero 5K

19. Complete a Bad Prom Run

20. Complete a Wine Run

21. Complete a Run for the Cure race

22. Complete Warrior Dash

23. Complete a Leukemia Run

24. TBA

25. TBA

26. TBA

27. TBA

28. TBA

29. TBA

30. TBA

The Week of 3 Miles...

The last few days all it has done is rain. After feeling water logged on Monday and Tuesday, the sun FINALLY came out and stayed out today so I took the opportunity to get in Day 1 of my 3 day 3 mile week.

For those of you have been wondering how Brittany and I are training for this half, we are doing weekly mileage increases. What that means is that each week we add 1 mile to each workout.

EX: Week 1- Walk 1 mile 3 days a week

       Week 2- Walk 2 miles 3 days a week

       Week 3- Walk 3 miles 3 days a week

and so on and so on...

The reason we are doing it this way is so that we don't overwhelm our bodies. Our goal is to eventually work our way up to 13.1 miles, a half marathon distance, and once we do that we can work on speed and go back to shorter miles and alternate long and short. :) I'm currently sticking between a 14-16 minute mile. (Depending on how much I jog) I want to get down to a 12 minute mile prior to Disney so that I have time to stop for the photo opportunities along the route.

The place that I run is a walking/running trail in the town I recently moved to. I love it because it is right by the hospital so if I fall out, there is immediate help. (Just kidding) It is by the hospital, but I actually love it because you see people of all body compositions there. There are thin, fat, fit, and unfit. And just the fact that everybody is so nice! There are people along that course that are so encouraging. They give you a thumbs up or a smile and just when you feel like you are going to give up and stop, they holler to "Keep Going! You got this!" There are also workout areas along the course so you can get in strength training as you run. It's your one stop gym and the best part is that it is FREE! :)

Tomorrow I'm hoping to get in another 3 miles and then Friday I'll be running my 3 miles with Brittany! We are doing our very first glow in the dark foam run! Our team name is "ET Foam Home" and I am so excited! :) It's in Memphis so we are meeting up and we have plans to do a few more fun things while we are there! Anytime we get together is fun so even if we just went to do the race and came home it would well be worth it.

I'm looking forward to a great weekend and an even better end to the week! I hope everyone has a great day and I'll talk to you soon!

Until later,

Jana



Why I Run...

When I tell people I run (which sometimes it still feels weird to even call myself a runner),  it often leads to the invitable joke, "I only run when someone is chasing me." I get it really, it doesn't offend me, I used to totally do the same.  But people also ask me all the time, "Why do you run?"

The simple answer would be, my friend and I randomly decided to do this on a cross country road trip two summers ago. That would be true. But the real answer is so much deeper than that. It is wrapped up in an entire lifetime of struggles with weight & fitness.

I can remember all the way back to elementary school. Hating games like tag because I could not keep up with the other kids. Being picked last for teams every single day in P.E. Feeling like I would pass out when I had to run laps during soccer practice.  Dreading the presidential physical fitness test, knowing I would never measure up.

The worst part of the fitness test was the mile run. I worried about it for weeks before the mile. I couldn't run a lick, and it always made me feel so ashamed. I would walk with other fat girls, as the coach barked orders at us, pretending to just be lazy, and not out of shape.

But everyone knew it was because I was fat.

Even in college, I felt so winded in my physical fitness credit classes. I dropped Yoga because of my embarrassment at not being able to hold the poses. I drove to the cafeteria because even walking that short distance felt like too much most days. I would have to take a break and sit down if I was walking from the Human Sciences building to my dorm.

I could only hope that one day I would take charge of my fitness. I was doubtful anything would ever change. I could never really run, I thought. It was something other people did, not me. Yet, I still dreamed of being a runner.

I wanted to prove to myself I could do something that once seemed so insurmountable. And I did! The first time I ran a whole mile I wanted to cry. It was like I was making it OK for the old Brittany, who could not even walk a mile. It felt like I was finally forgiving that Brittany, I was taking away her shame.

Today I ran 3.1 miles with no breaks.  A full 5k. It was an amazing feeling.  It made me feel powerful. It made me feel capable. It made me feel proud. It made me feel that I was starting to leave all that insecurity behind me.

I am a runner. I can run a mile. I can run three miles. I will run a half-marathon. I can do this, I will do this.

I am Brittany, Hear Me Roar!

Ready, Set, React...

Yesterday's post was a bit tough for me. I didn't realize when I was writing it how many other people struggled with the same things that I do. I was so overwhelmed when people that I know and love were messaging me telling me "thank you" for posting because that is exactly how they feel. Want to know the kicker? Some of them are what I would deem as "skinny", "gorgeous", "beautiful", "fit", etc. It goes to show you that you don't really know everyone and each person has their own story full of trials and tribulations. My goal is to start being more mindful of the people around me and working to make sure that I'm not labeling people, because honestly it goes both ways and I know I'm just as guilty of it as anyone.

I found this picture on Pinterest. "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it" It hit a nerve with me. I found myself realizing that yesterday I reacted in a new way. I didn't sit back and cry and let the words of another person put me down. I didn't remove the picture and give the person what they wanted. I simply reacted. My reaction was to put it into words. I've always been a writer and whenever I would feel sad or angry or upset I could simply pick up a pencil and paper and write until I had no more feelings. Looking back, I somehow knew that once I wrote everything down I would feel better. And I do. :) I feel better because now I know what I need to do if I ever feel that way again and that is to just let it out and stop bottling it up. It's such a freeing feeling.

This weekend I'll be heading to Memphis with Brittany to run my very first Glow in the Dark Foam Run. Our team name is "ET Foam Home" and I'm looking forward to spending a fun evening with Brit and working on our fitness. After we finish our race (and hopefully get cleaned up) we have plans to go see The Fault in Our Stars. I'm pretty excited about it because it's one movie that I have REALLY wanted to go see. On Saturday we are planning to go to the Civil Rights museum, which I'm really excited about. I'm so glad Brittany is a nerd like me and doesn't mind doing "educational" things when we take trips. She's a huge history buff so I know this is right up her alley!

For those of you wondering, Brittany and I were college roommates at the "W" our senior year (Mississippi University for Women) and friends since our freshman year of college. I know I get asked a lot how we met and all that stuff. I'm not sure exactly other than we just started to hang out together. We had a pretty good group of friends and now that we are out of college we stay in contact with a couple of other girls we went to school with. We often do "W" girls weekends and I guess you could say that this is one of them. We are hoping to run into a few more of our "W" girls while we are in Memphis, but we shall see.

I plan on spending the rest of my day taking it easy and cleaning, etc. We are supposed to have a severe line of storms moving through so I want to make sure that we have everything ready in the event of an emergency. I hope that everyone else in the line of storms stays safe and I look forward to checking in with you soon. :)

Have a great day,

Jana

It goes without saying...

Dear Fat Girl,

I see you Fat Girl in the mirror as you get ready to get in the shower this morning, assessing your body. Squeezing that fat roll, wishing it away. Sucking in your stomach in hopes of feeling a little better about yourself. Scrutinizing every curve with disdain because the media tells us that fat isn't all that and that if you have any on your body, you should be ashamed of it.

I see you Fat Girl, on the scale. Wishing that the number you were seeing wasn't true. Wondering how you got to that number even though you know a life time of celebrations and living life led to it.

I see you Fat Girl squeezing yourself into your size 22 pants because you are too embarrassed to go buy a size 24. Because by buying that bigger size, you are proving everyone right. That yes, you are fat and no, you aren't doing anything to fix it. So instead of buying new pants, you pull a 3XL shirt over your bulges and hope nobody sees that you just popped the button off of your pants.

I see you Fat Girl as you get ready to grab your breakfast and fix your lunch for the day before heading off to work. I watch as you measure food and log calories because your friend swore that this diet will help you lose weight fast. This is a different diet than the 20 you tried before, so surely it must work! I also see you grab your gym clothes because starting today you are going to start working out.

I see you Fat Girl at the gym after work. All eyes stare you down as you walk to the equipment, unsure what to do. Every good looking, fit person in the building watching you, waiting to see you embarrass yourself or fail. I see you get on the treadmill and walk a little while, because there is no way you can run. I see you watching the Zumba class. It looks like so much fun, but because you are fat, there is no way you can fit in with all the skinny girls that are taking the class. I see you avoiding the weights and bypassing other classes on your way to the locker room. I see you in the changing room, getting ready to go home when you overhear a few of the ladies in the room laughing at you because you "waddle" and they aren't sure why you are even coming to the gym since you are so fat. I see you hold back the tears as you quietly slip out of the changing room before they notice you and hear you vow you won't return.

I see you Fat Girl as you pull up to McDonald's and order a Large #1 and scarf it down before you even make it home. I see you walk in and eat dinner with your significant other, unknown to him that you have just eaten a full meal only a few minutes before.

I see you Fat Girl as you keep the hurt inside. I see you bottle it up and try very hard not to let it show. Instead of dealing with it, you just make fun of yourself. You make jokes about your weight before anyone else has an opportunity to do it for you. You joke about how you will only run if you are chasing an ice cream truck. You joke about being a blimp because you are certainly full of hot air. You take all the hurtful things you have been told and you turn it because for some reason if you say it, it takes a bit of the sting out of it. But I also see you once you get home and how you cry and cry because it hurts so bad inside.

I see you Fat Girl with your friends and in social situations where you feel very self conscious. You worry about what you look like. You worry about if it seems you are eating too much. I see you letting little things bother you to the point that your entire night is miserable. But because you are used to this, you plaster on a smile and keep on going. Nobody can know the hurt inside.

I see you Fat Girl sitting down and talking with another fat friend who shares your sympathies. I see you opening up to that person and finally letting it all out. I also see your friend finally let it go. Who knew someone else felt exactly the same way you do?

I see you Fat Girl getting up and exercising every day. And although you feel like making excuses why you can't, your friend is depending on you so you push through. I see you calling and checking in to keep each other motivated. I see you making future plans and then I see you accomplish them!

I see you Fat Girl, not quite so fat anymore from the exercise and lack of junk food that you have been slowly weaning out of your diet. I see your 22's fitting better, too loose even and you can wear a 2XL shirt comfortably again.

I see you Fat Girl, finally feeling comfortable with how you are starting to look and beginning to be more bold with your outfit choices. I see you change up your hair and makeup just for fun. I see you really becoming happy. For the first time in a long time, you don't cry at night and you feel good about yourself.

I see you Fat Girl, take a picture of yourself and post it to social media because this pic is perfect. Great lighting and your make up and hair are on point. For the first time in a long time, you feel pretty and others compliment you because they can see how far you have come. But I also see someone who is making fun of it. And while you used to get upset over something like this, you see it for what it really is...absolutely NOTHING!

I see you for who you are Fat Girl, and you are an amazing person, full of life, love, and energy to be spent on people who matter. People who are positive and want to see you be successful. I see you accomplishing everything that you set your mind to in ways nobody else thought was possible. I see you taking on the world one step at a time. I see you stumble over and over again, only to get back up and keep trudging along. I see you for the first time, not as Fat Girl, but as YOU!

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE SMART! YOU ARE TALENTED! YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER THIS WORLD!

There will ALWAYS be people who want to see you fail, but it is up to you to prove them all wrong. Don't let anyone else steal your sparkle. Nobody does YOU quite the way you do. So keep on keeping on and let the haters fall away. At the end of the day, the only people you should be concerned with are those who love you anyway.

I see you Fat Girl, but now you see YOU too!

Always behind the glass,

Reflection